my best dog friend

Lois has been doing so well at dog school. She and i are a real team now.

She drives me crazy sometimes but i cannot imagine life without her.

it's almost her birthday!!! she's going to be 4 years old January 16th.

Hugs!

my obsession

hello. i have an obsession with the three doors in my house that i have to shut each morning before i leave the house. maybe if i talk about it here it will aid the resolution of the problem.
i have to close the doors to two bedrooms and the bathroom before i leave the house to keep my nosey polar bear out. One time i left one of the doors open and lois got stuck in my bedroom and it scared both of us.
So, each morning i get all ready, i close all three door and then i leave the house. Then i have to turn around and go back and check. One time i was on the freeway (halfway to work!) and i had to turn around and make sure that the doors were closed.
of course the doors are closed. they always have been. at first my feeling was hey, i'm right there. why not just check? it can't hurt to be double sure, right? but it has started to interfere with my life. and now i am finding myself doing other bizarre things to help myself to remember that the doors are closed. I tap the doors after i close each one, when i tap the door i think in my head "the door is closed". I have also started saying out loud "I am now closing the door". omg. i'm becoming one of those people. Pretty soon i will not be able to leave the house without doing a 45 minute door closing ritual.

let's pray to christ at 3 a.m. and tell the neighbors they can all get fucked

my least favorite song by A Tribe Called Quest is "What?" off the album The Low End Theory

a funny line from "Sri Lanka Sex Hotel" by The Dead Milkmen:
Burn it down and knock it over let's have sex with it or leave it alone.

Adult Nightmares

My adult nightmares are so weird. They are always so funny in the light of day and so scary at night when I have them.
I had one last night. It is so funny…

I was at my grandparents’ house sitting on a couch with my mom and dad. The carpet was their old carpet; it was shag with various shades of browns. I had a pain in my big toe and I looked at it and there was a big hole in my toe nail. Sticking out of the hole was this big yucky bug. I pulled it out and revealed that the bug had burrowed a tunnel all the way through my toe. I put the bug on the carpet and did not say anything to my parents. For some reason I did not want them to know that that thing was in my toe. I was totally grossed out. Then the bug was hopping all over and it caught my dad’s eye and he picked it up. It was gray, looked like the texture of a worm, it had a giant tail with lots of spiky things on it and it had big blinky eyes with eyelashes like a doll.

I woke up from this nightmare breathing really heavy and I was so scared that I had to yell for Lois to come get into bed with me. Thinking about it now, it makes me laugh really hard.

20081211 lunch (and probably dinner)

I had to leave Fallout 3 and scarf making at home today. I know that they will be there waiting for me when I get home. Fallout 3 had a little bit of a glitch last night and we are in a fight now anyways, so I guess maybe we both need some time to cool off. Sometimes when you are together a lot (Fallout and I have spent about 40* hours together over the past 10 days) you don't appreciate each other like you should.
I made a huge pot of spicy spicy vegetable soup last night. It is so cheap to make and it will last me all week. It has the following delicious and nutritious vegetables: cabbage, green beans, sweet potato and carrots. I think that my spice hand is a bit heavy as this soup is burning my nostrils and my eyes.
Lois Update
Lois made tap shoes out of bottle caps and has placed one on each of her fingers. She is currently working on a finger dance that is sure to amaze. I can't wait to see it; she's been keeping the whole thing under wraps for months now. She practices in the basement in the very wee hours of the morning so as not to ruin the big unveiling of the finger dance.
I love her.
*I'm embarrassed to say this but it's more realistic to say 80 hours over the past 10 days

things i am mulling

a man made of meat.

my new best friend

This guy! no just kidding...

Fallout 3! Such a fun game. Loves me unconditionally and will not let me down.

a holiday hatred breakthrough.

I could not understand how people could hate the holidays, until it happened to me! Holidays have never had any big special place in my heart. I've never been one to go all out and stuff. but I have to say that since Eric died my holidays have been less than stellar. I do not like to go to Thanksgiving dinner unaccompanied. I do not like to decorate this little house for just me (and for my little polar bear to undecorate when she is restless). I do not like to wake up on Christmas morning alone. and no presents to give to anyone. and then along comes new year's eve. this one may have to be the worst. All the happiness and excitement, all the booze you can shake a stick at, you waving goodbye to yet another year of your life. ugh, is all i have to say. i cannot possibly be expected to continue to celebrate these events in this way. cannot possibly.
My mother is pretty adamant about me decorating the house. SO for the first time in a long time i plucked some decorations out of the attic. my tiny tiny Christmas tree, some pink lights for the window. And a sparkling garland on the bathroom shelf.
we'll see how long it is before i take them down.

2009 will be the best year ever. Right?

lunch one day last week at work.

it was so good.
it was plain non fat yogurt. delicious Pakistani dahl with carrots and yams. and brown rice. yum.
i would have no problem eating this meal everyday for lunch and dinner.

sometimes it's best to let sleeping deep sea creatures lay

eeeek! A horse shoe crab

When Aaron and I were children, our dad brought home a horse shoe crab. Was it alive? Where the heck did he get it? The only thing I can really remember is the smell.

The horse shoe crab can live up to 31 years! That's weird. It also has copper based blood that is blue. Weird. They are like little aliens. They are related to ticks (gross) and scorpions (scary). But the little horse shoe crab is not dangerous in the least.

They like to live in Delaware. I went to Delaware once and the water was FREEZING and I saw no wild life whatsoever. That may have been due to the sand dredging they were doing to combat erosion on the beach.

I wish that for Christmas i could provide all my friends and family with pet horse shoe crabs.

the adventures of mia and link-is

Check out the neato ceramics:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5240135
they look too big to wear as displayed, but they are really neat

Ar you a Family Guy fan? I am.
and i am also a La Luz de Jesus fan!
http://www.laluzdejesus.com/shows/previousshows/2008/family%20guy/familyguy.htm

Ever wonder what that zany flying puppet is up to these days?
Wonder no more!
http://www.flyingpuppet.com/

What are you making for dinner tonight? Not baked chicken again.
http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=4917.0
Yum!

I recommend this:
http://www.williamlamson.com/#/home

20081116

There is an ever present ache in my chest.

the only thing i can believe is that my heart is stuck with perpetual hangover.

a november vomit of pics

Lois waiting impatiently for her snow to fall

Brinkley's visit to my desk

Although his bad reputation has been earned, he knows how to turn the charm on when he may get some attention for it. I love him.

This is my drive to and fro work from November - March. I'm so excited.

I think this is why the holiday season makes me want to die.

Lo. She's a beauty.

Aaron - Don't let him fool yah, this guy knows how to throw his balls around.

Linda the birthday girl.

Macey - i think she's gotten rusty (or just drunk) in her old age.
I seem to remember a time when she could roll with the best of 'em.

We can only wish that "sinners" was the worst place we ended up that night. ugh.

I don't want to wait in vain for JC Vanity Tags

my pink elephant

whatever happened. whatever happens.

Today I miss Eric

It's hard to believe that it has only been 3 1/2 years. It feels like a lifetime has passed.

Whenever things happen to me, i want to tell him and he's not there.

There is so little left of him here in this house.

I often wonder how he and Lois would have gotten along.

I bet he would have loved her just as much as i do.

It's hard to believe that I will never see him again.

FOUND

Found Magazine (http://www.foundmagazine.com/) is something special to me. I love to read the snarky comments. I have followed this website for years. I remember when it was mostly found photographs. Now they publish various found items. Sometimes, they post shopping lists that are ridiculously random or mean notes people leave on other people's cars.

Here are three of my very own finds:

I found this one in Stranger than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk. The book is not a self help book. I feel bad for this unknown depressed person who felt it necessary to put into writing the fact that he/she is not defective. After i found this, i started to wonder what it would feel like to feel defective. I think it might suck.

Meet Blaine. I like to think of him as my adopted son that i have nothing to do with. He was obviously in some grade in 2004, but i cannot tell you which one. He's such a cutie! I found him on a shelf at the library a few months ago. Just laying there, forgotten, in need of a good home. So he now resides on my kitchen bulletin board with the rest of my family.

And finally, buried inside Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, I found 3 little dried flowers. The little flowers were in a chapter describing David's sleep over night at a childhood frenemy's house where he had a difficult time hiding his homosexuality during a game of strip poker.

It's fall

Within 6 short days, my very own maple tree has turned fall.

How Sad

oh. okay. fine.

my mom's grill:

My grill:

i am so full of so much anxiety lately. i think i am drinking way too much coffee, but i cannot seem to shake the habit.

i like coffee and coffee likes me and coffee showed me her boobies and i like them too.

Also, i would like to take this time to thank everyone who has supported me and my decision to let the natural loveliness flow from my scalp. Never again will i flatten this jewish afro. i will wear it with pride.

Just for good measure (meeeeshure), i have provided this little display to show what happens when you mix a flat iron with vodke.

bits and pieces

Lois and her bald spot. my parking spot overlooking the beautiful bank of the cuyahoga

dad's stuff

Wiley and beba

Funny tomato
My friend at work

Can you see something funny about this van?

Lo, she thinks the blanket is

going to get me :(