my best dog friend

Lois has been doing so well at dog school. She and i are a real team now.

She drives me crazy sometimes but i cannot imagine life without her.

it's almost her birthday!!! she's going to be 4 years old January 16th.

Hugs!

my obsession

hello. i have an obsession with the three doors in my house that i have to shut each morning before i leave the house. maybe if i talk about it here it will aid the resolution of the problem.
i have to close the doors to two bedrooms and the bathroom before i leave the house to keep my nosey polar bear out. One time i left one of the doors open and lois got stuck in my bedroom and it scared both of us.
So, each morning i get all ready, i close all three door and then i leave the house. Then i have to turn around and go back and check. One time i was on the freeway (halfway to work!) and i had to turn around and make sure that the doors were closed.
of course the doors are closed. they always have been. at first my feeling was hey, i'm right there. why not just check? it can't hurt to be double sure, right? but it has started to interfere with my life. and now i am finding myself doing other bizarre things to help myself to remember that the doors are closed. I tap the doors after i close each one, when i tap the door i think in my head "the door is closed". I have also started saying out loud "I am now closing the door". omg. i'm becoming one of those people. Pretty soon i will not be able to leave the house without doing a 45 minute door closing ritual.

let's pray to christ at 3 a.m. and tell the neighbors they can all get fucked

my least favorite song by A Tribe Called Quest is "What?" off the album The Low End Theory

a funny line from "Sri Lanka Sex Hotel" by The Dead Milkmen:
Burn it down and knock it over let's have sex with it or leave it alone.

Adult Nightmares

My adult nightmares are so weird. They are always so funny in the light of day and so scary at night when I have them.
I had one last night. It is so funny…

I was at my grandparents’ house sitting on a couch with my mom and dad. The carpet was their old carpet; it was shag with various shades of browns. I had a pain in my big toe and I looked at it and there was a big hole in my toe nail. Sticking out of the hole was this big yucky bug. I pulled it out and revealed that the bug had burrowed a tunnel all the way through my toe. I put the bug on the carpet and did not say anything to my parents. For some reason I did not want them to know that that thing was in my toe. I was totally grossed out. Then the bug was hopping all over and it caught my dad’s eye and he picked it up. It was gray, looked like the texture of a worm, it had a giant tail with lots of spiky things on it and it had big blinky eyes with eyelashes like a doll.

I woke up from this nightmare breathing really heavy and I was so scared that I had to yell for Lois to come get into bed with me. Thinking about it now, it makes me laugh really hard.

20081211 lunch (and probably dinner)

I had to leave Fallout 3 and scarf making at home today. I know that they will be there waiting for me when I get home. Fallout 3 had a little bit of a glitch last night and we are in a fight now anyways, so I guess maybe we both need some time to cool off. Sometimes when you are together a lot (Fallout and I have spent about 40* hours together over the past 10 days) you don't appreciate each other like you should.
I made a huge pot of spicy spicy vegetable soup last night. It is so cheap to make and it will last me all week. It has the following delicious and nutritious vegetables: cabbage, green beans, sweet potato and carrots. I think that my spice hand is a bit heavy as this soup is burning my nostrils and my eyes.
Lois Update
Lois made tap shoes out of bottle caps and has placed one on each of her fingers. She is currently working on a finger dance that is sure to amaze. I can't wait to see it; she's been keeping the whole thing under wraps for months now. She practices in the basement in the very wee hours of the morning so as not to ruin the big unveiling of the finger dance.
I love her.
*I'm embarrassed to say this but it's more realistic to say 80 hours over the past 10 days

things i am mulling

a man made of meat.

my new best friend

This guy! no just kidding...

Fallout 3! Such a fun game. Loves me unconditionally and will not let me down.

a holiday hatred breakthrough.

I could not understand how people could hate the holidays, until it happened to me! Holidays have never had any big special place in my heart. I've never been one to go all out and stuff. but I have to say that since Eric died my holidays have been less than stellar. I do not like to go to Thanksgiving dinner unaccompanied. I do not like to decorate this little house for just me (and for my little polar bear to undecorate when she is restless). I do not like to wake up on Christmas morning alone. and no presents to give to anyone. and then along comes new year's eve. this one may have to be the worst. All the happiness and excitement, all the booze you can shake a stick at, you waving goodbye to yet another year of your life. ugh, is all i have to say. i cannot possibly be expected to continue to celebrate these events in this way. cannot possibly.
My mother is pretty adamant about me decorating the house. SO for the first time in a long time i plucked some decorations out of the attic. my tiny tiny Christmas tree, some pink lights for the window. And a sparkling garland on the bathroom shelf.
we'll see how long it is before i take them down.

2009 will be the best year ever. Right?

lunch one day last week at work.

it was so good.
it was plain non fat yogurt. delicious Pakistani dahl with carrots and yams. and brown rice. yum.
i would have no problem eating this meal everyday for lunch and dinner.