omg dating

omg, dating is the pits. dislike. dislike. dislike.

there is all this: does he like me? does he like me too much? do i like him? do i like him too much? should i call him? why didn't he call me? why does he call too much? can i text him? why is he not texting me? is he seeing someone else? should i see someone else? do i like him enough? ...omg, it's paranoia and bipolar/mania all rolled into one neurotic roller coaster ride.

when i was 19 or 20, i met eric and i was like ok. let's get married. lol, i  took it lightly. no biggie, ok let's do it.

i feel like i have lived two separate lives.
like there was my first life that ended when i was 27 and now there is this one and i am scared that i will have to wait 19 or 20 years before i find someone again. at least i am already 7 years in. 7 years and 2 totally gross heart breaks, some freaky weirdos, and a nice one sprinkled in here or there.

i want to find someone who wants to do the following:

have a good time
play with halo
like old school hip hop / rap
like all music
like ELO
like art a lot
like me more
like my parents and friends
drink beer
love sex
like walking in the woods, sometimes in the snow, with lowey or without

like video games
like eating food a lot
like being a weirdo a lot
like and appreciate a messy house
like practicing rodney dangerfield jokes on one another
not obsessed with anything bad or gross
obsessed with something great like saving animals or painting murals or chasing monsters.
not guilty, not crabby, not blue, not grouchy, not ugly on the inside.

relax
be open minded
try new food
try new routes
try new moods
try new views
try new feelings
try new books, clothes, hair dos, hair don'ts, deodorants, pastas, flavors,  etc.
relax
function minimally on sundays
eat veggie chili
go on vacation
maybe make a baby (maybe not though, maybe just practice)
make fun of everything
not be mad if i my jokes are inappropriate or if i swear too much
laugh at all animals (especially dogs)
pet animals that we meet on the street
look for something good in me
like me even if i am chubby
like the job i have
think i am pretty
like halo
and like macey and michelle and franz.
there are several other traits and interests that i am open to or willing to take a look at.