Jenkem Making a Big Splash with America's Teens

Posing a serious new challenge to law enforcement, and a threat to parents and adolescents all across America, is the rapidly advancing scurge of Jenkem abuse.

It all started on a sunny day in July when I decided to go for a walk. Some freeked-out looking gentleman approached me and asked if I knew where he could "score some Sammy J". I had no idea what he was talking about and went on my merry way. By the time I got home I was intrigued with uncovering more about this so called Sammy J. I did some digging and low and behold I uncovered a veritable cache of information about the elusive new drug "Jenkem".

Evidently the substance originated in the slums of Zambia where adolescents can't afford airplane glue, and has crept it's stinky way across the ocean to the streets of suburbia where children who cannot purchase beer or weed for a buzz quickly caught on to this cheap and abundant hallucinogenic dissasociative. The manufacture of the subtance is easily done in any clandestine lab much the same as meth. All that is needed is a jar.

Evidently all that is needed is your own shit and urine in a jar where it will ferment and generate a hallucinogenic form of methane, which is then deeply inhaled with a baloon, causing a euphoric headrush, followed by intense hallucinations for up to 1 hour affectionately called an "Ass Bash" among the Jenkem community. A common complaint in the JenKemmunity is that the mouth and toungue tastes like dirty rotten ass for hours and even days, depending on the shit-huffer's habit.

Although most of us would cringe at the idea of huffing our own shit-gasses, many adolescents live in their own world where huffing thy crappeth is par for the inhalent course. I asked one abuser how his life was affected by his use. He instantly replied "Man.. All I do is get up in the mornin first thing I gotta do so I can even function is get Jenked..."

Now sweeping the nation are sewage inhaling party's, also known as Jenki's and Straight-up Ass Bashes. Since there are no laws against huffing your own noxious ass vapors, or, for that matter, huffing anothers ass vapors, these parties are runing amuck and unchecked among our adolescent population.

Keeping the peace, Aaron S.